Secret World Access 🔒

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tulip mode 🌷

since I can’t walk with you through a real tulip garden yet,
at least I can write you one here.

keep scrolling when your heart feels a little fuller ♡

if you didn’t exist, & why I’m glad you do 🎂

tum sirf “birthday girl” nahi ho – tum woh reason ho jiski wajah se bohot chhoti-chhoti cheezein iss duniya mein better lagti hain.

if you didn’t exist… 💭
meri life honestly bohot boring hoti.

Agar tum nahi hoti na, toh mera phone sirf ek device hota – koi aisi chat nahi hoti jahan main khud jaake khul ke bol sakun, “aaj din kitna stupid tha” ya “tu sun bas, rant karna hai”.

Koi aisa insan nahi hota jo meri baat ko itna seriously le ke, mere mood ke chhote-chhote changes bhi feel kare. Koi nahi hota jo sirf “hmm” ya “ok” likh ke bhi itna effect daal de. Mere liye “seen” ka matlab bas seen hota, lekin tumhare saath “seen by you” ka matlab hota hai ki main thoda safe hoon.

Agar tum exist nahi karti, mere future ke plans itne colourless hote – koi “Japan together”, koi tulip field, koi random dates ka thought hi nahi aata. Bas “job, kaam, sona” type life hoti. Koi aisa face nahi hota jisko yaad karke main khud ko sambhal sakun. No bracelet, no scrunchie, no van memories, no “madam ji”.

Sabse bura part? Main shayad kabhi yeh feel nahi kar pata ki main itna deeply kisi ko protect karna chahta hoon. Tumhare bina main theek hota, haan – par waise theek nahi jaisa ab tumhare saath hoon. I wouldn’t have this version of me jo itna genuinely kisi ki khushi ko apna mission banata hai.

why I’m thankful you were born 💗
because the world – aur main – dono better ho gaye.

Main thankful hoon ki tum paida hui, kyunki uss din se lekar aaj tak, tumne shayad khud notice na kiya ho, par tumne bohot logon ko heal kiya hai. Tumhari ek simple “are you okay?” ne kitne logon ko feel karwaya hoga ki koi hai jo genuinely care karta hai. Tumhari presence ne kitni jagah pe awkward silences ko comfort mein change kiya hoga.

Main thankful hoon ki tum paida hui, kyunki meri life mein ek aisa insan aaya jo mujhe judge nahi karta jab main overthink karta hoon, jo meri bakwaas baat bhi dhyaan se padhti hai, jo meri stupid jokes pe bhi hasti hai – sirf isliye nahi ki joke funny hai, balki isliye ki main funny ho raha hoon.

Tumhari wajah se meri zindagi mein ek aisi feeling aayi hai jise main simple language mein bolun toh: “haan, ab main akela nahi hoon.” Jab tum khush hoti ho, mujhe automatically lagta hai mera din successful hai. Jab tum sad hoti ho, mujhe lagta hai mujhe aur better partner banna padega. Tum meri selfishness ko dheere-dheere love mein change kar rahi ho – ye bhi tumhari hi wajah se hai.

Isliye aaj, tumhare birthday pe, main sirf “happy birthday” wish nahi karna chahta. Main yeh bolna chahta hoon: thank you for being born. Thank you ki tumne iss world ko face karne ka decision liya, sari problems ke saath bhi. Thank you ki tumne mujhe choose kiya, even when you had thousand reasons nahi karne ke. Aur thank you ki tum aaj bhi yahin ho, reading this, existing, breathing, aur meri life ko itna genuinely beautiful bana rahi ho.

tumhara birthday sirf ek date nahi hai – woh din hai jahan se meri favourite story possible bani. 🎂✨

letter from 2035 ⏳

ek chhota sa time capsule – future wala hum, present wali tum ke liye.

hey, future tum aur future main yahan tak pahunch gaye.

It feels funny writing this now, but I know one thing for sure – agar tum yeh read kar rahi ho, that means we actually made it through saare fights, saari dooriyan, saari “leave it” wali baatein.

Main tumhe 2035 se likh raha hoon – tum ab bhi meri favourite notification ho. Ab hum alag shehron mein nahi, ek hi ghar mein rehte hain. Kabhi kitchen mein tum gaane chala ke dance kar rahi hoti ho, kabhi balcony mein chill karte hue tulip wallpaper dekh ke bolti ho, “yaad hai, tu ek time sirf digital tulips hi de sakta tha?”

Hum ab bhi argue karte hain – kabhi mess kiske kaaran hua, kabhi kaun zyada stubborn hai. But ab ek rule fix hai: no sleeping angry, no hanging up in the middle. Hum baith ke baat karte hain, thoda ro lete hain, thoda hug kar lete hain, and phir same line pe end hota hai – “we’re not going anywhere.”

Future mein bhi tum meri safe place ho. Tum ab zyada confident ho, zyada secure, thodi aur attitude wali, par sirf duniya ke liye – mere liye tum ab bhi wohi soft, shy, overthinking saheba ho jisne school van se shuru ho kar meri poori life ka direction change kar diya.

Agar kabhi future mein hum dono ko doubt aaye ke “kya hum sahi kar rahe hain?” toh bas yaad rakhna: yeh letter proof hai ke ek time pe main genuinely believe karta tha ke mera future = tum. Aur honestly? Ab bhi wahi hai.

the shadow of you 🌒

sirf perfect version nahi – woh tum bhi jisse tum khud kabhi kabhi darti ho.

Mujhe sirf tumhari perfect selfie version nahi pasand. Mujhe tumhari woh sides bhi pasand hain jo tum khud se bhi chhupa leti ho:

  • jab tum overthink karke khud ko blame karti ho
  • jab tum “I’m fine” likhti ho, par aankhon mein paani hota hai
  • jab tum itna gussa ho jaati ho ki baad mein khud regret karti ho
  • jab tum logon se door ho jaati ho kyunki tumhe lagta hai “main hi problem hoon”
  • jab tum khud ko ugly, annoying, “too much” bol deti ho

Yeh sab tumhari shadow hai – par main yeh bhi part of you hi maanta hoon. Agar main sirf tumhari highlights se pyaar karun, toh woh pyaar thoda fake hoga. Mera pyaar iss cheez pe based hai ke main tumhari roshni bhi jaanta hoon aur tumhari darkness bhi – aur main dono ke saath rehne ke liye ready hoon.

my favourite versions of you 🎭

tum sirf ek mood nahi ho – tum poora season ho.

Tum sirf ek “type” nahi ho. Tum pure season ho, full collection:

sleepy you – soft awaaz, half-closed eyes
jealous you – “ja na phir usi ke paas” energy
confident you – walking like the room is yours
shy you – nazar chura ke muskuraana
angry you – fast typing, fast talking, fast heartbeat
overthinking you – “sorry, ek last cheez” 10 times
excited you – spam texts, spam audios, spam love
quiet you – jab tum kuch nahi kehti, par sab keh deti ho

Mere liye tumhara koi “best version” nahi hai. Jo bhi mood mein tum ho – uss moment mein bas woh version meri favourite hoti hai.

if love had receipts 🧾

agar pyaar ke bills milte, toh mere paas already itna proof hota.

If love had receipts, mere paas itna proof hota ke tum kabse pyaar kar rahi ho, even when you didn’t say it out loud:

  • 🧾 17 missed calls – “I was just checking if you’re okay.”
  • 🧾 2:53 AM – you woke up just to reply “reach home and text me.”
  • 🧾 “Don’t talk to me.” → 10 minutes later: “khana kha liya?”
  • 🧾 screen time stats: most used chat – mine.
  • 🧾 you remembering my small details that even I forgot.
  • 🧾 “I hate you” typed… “I love you” sent.
  • 🧾 you crying, but still saying “just don’t leave, okay?”

Agar kabhi tumhe doubt aaye ke “kya main enough pyaar karti hoon?” toh main yeh saare receipts laa ke bolunga – “dekho, tum kabse mujhe pyaar kar rahi ho, bas khud ko bhi admit karne do.”

choose our ending tonight 🎬

ek hi story, par tu decide karegi kaun sa version sunna hai.

tap any button below – har baar story ka mood change ho jayega, but ek cheez same rahegi: it’s still you & me.

ending 1 – soft version

Aaj ke baad chahe kitna time lage, chahe kitni baar hum confuse ho jayein, main ek cheez pe sure hoon – I want my last call of the day, my last hug of the night, and my first good morning of every new year to be with you.

Ye story yahin khatam nahi ho rahi, yahan se sirf ek naya chapter shuru ho raha hai – “you & me, a little more serious this time.”
ending 2 – intense version

Main share kar sakta hoon memes, jokes, friends, par tum nahi. Tum par mera koi “tag” nahi, par mera dil literally tumpe reserved hai.

Jo bhi aayega tumhari life mein, ek baat clear hai – they’ll have to understand ke tum woh girl ho jisko main na chhodne ka decision already le chuka hoon.

This ending simple hai: you’re mine, and I’m not negotiating that.
ending 3 – cinematic version

Ho sakta hai hum kisi movie mein na aayein, par agar kabhi koi hamari kahani likhe na, toh woh yeh line zaroor likhe:
“They were not perfect, they just never stopped choosing each other.”

Is story ka last shot koi breakup scene nahi hai – last shot mein tum has rahi ho, main camera ke peeche se chillate hue, “oye ruk, ek aur photo, yeh wali future ke liye chahiye.”
ending 4 – thoda naughty, thoda cute

Theek hai, officially scene yahin end hota hai – but honestly?
Main toh tumhara future boyfriend, future husband, future headache, future healer – sab ek hi pack mein lene aa raha hoon.

Toh decide kar lo, last line kya hogi:
“he was the best mistake of my life”
ya
“he was the only decision I never regretted.”

a kiss written in words 💋

no drama, no cringe – sirf ek chhota sa scene jo main really karna chahta hoon.

Ruko… bas thodi der screen side pe rakh.
Ab ek second ke liye imagine karo ke tum mere saamne ho, bina phone, bina noise, bas hum dono.

Main tumhara forehead kiss karta hoon – na drama, na cheesy dialogue – bas ek simple sa signal ke “you’re safe with me.”

Phir main tumhara haath pakadta hoon, normal – jaise hum real life mein pakadte. Koi extra pose, koi forced moment nahi. Bas woh simple sa grip jo dono ko thoda calm kar deta hai.

Us moment mein main kuch zyada nahi bolta, sirf itna: “I’m here.”

Aur agar kabhi hum future mein fight karein, ya mood off ho, ya din heavy ho – main wahi forehead kiss fir dunga as a reminder ke we might get mad, but we don’t leave.

Bas. Straight, real, no cringe – sirf ek steady sa kiss jo bina bol ke bhi yeh keh deta hai ke tum safe ho, loved ho, aur truly, completely, honestly… mine ho.

two songs, two lifetimes 🎧

ek gaana mera “tumse pehle” wala phase, ek gaana mera “tumhare baad” wala.

before you

Cupid – life before you

Isse pehle main pyaar ko thoda funny, thoda confusing, thoda stupid samajhta tha. Ye gaana main ne isliye gaa ke record kiya — taaki tu sun sake ke main pyaar ko kaise feel karta tha, tum se pehle.

after you

Perfect – life after you

Tumhare baad pyaar serious, real, safe lagne laga. Yeh record isliye banaya, kyunki ab future imagine karta hoon toh usme main hoon, tum ho, shaanti hai, aur bohot saara pyaar — bina insecure hue.

headphones laga ke sunna — yeh sirf gaane nahi, mera pura dil hai in dono mein 💗

promises I’m keeping 📜

these aren’t just lines – ye woh cheezein hain jo main genuinely tumhare liye follow karna chahta hoon.

promise #1
We will go to Japan together one day, and phir dheere-dheere saara world explore karenge, side by side.
promise #2
I’ll never ever leave you – sirf har din tumse thoda aur zyada pyaar karunga.
promise #3
Main hamesha dhyaan rakhunga ki hamare beech kabhi koi third person na aaye – na friend, na ego, na overthinking.
promise #4
I’ll try my best to make your life feel like the life of a queen – jahan tumhe respect, peace aur pyaar dono milta rahe.
promise #5
Main har din ko tumhare liye special banaunga – chahe sirf ek ice cream ho, ek call ho, ya ek chhota sa text.
promise #6
Jo jo chhoti-badi wishes tumhari hain, main unhe poora karne ki puri koshish karunga – ek-ek karke, saath mein.
promise #7
Jab tum rant karogi, rogi, ya bas random baatein share karogi, main hamesha seriously sununga – “haan haan” karke ignore nahi karunga.
promise #8
Jab bhi hum ladenge, main problem ke against rahunga, tumhare against nahi. No blocking, no disappearing – bas baat karke solve karna.
promise #9
Tumhare exams, career, ya jo bhi sapne hain – main hamesha tumhe push karunga, support karunga, taaki tum khud pe proud feel karo.
promise #10
Main tumhare close logon ko bhi respect dunga – family ho, friends ho – kyunki wo tumhari life ka part hain, aur main tumhari life ka.
promise #11
Jo baat tum mere saath share karogi, woh mere paas hi rahegi – no gossip, no screenshots, bas trust.
promise #12
One day, I’ll build a life with you jahan tum shaam ko ghar aake sirf yeh feel karo: “haan, yahi mera safe place hai” – tulips, peace aur hum dono.
tap any little heart to see one of the promises I’ve made to you ♥

tarot of us 🔮

past, present, future – teen cards, ek hi story: hum dono.

Past

tap to flip
the shy girl in the van Kahani shuru hui ek simple school van se – tum quiet, thodi shy, main bas tumhe side se dekh raha. Us time na koi filmy background music tha, na koi dramatic dialogue, bas ek normal sa din. Par aaj peeche dekh kar lagta hai, woh “normal” din hi sabse special turning point tha.

Present

tap to flip
long distance, close hearts Ab hum alag shehron mein hain – Mumbai, Alwar – par phir bhi tum mere din ka sabse real part ho. Calls, chats, random moments, thode kalesh, phir patch-up – yahi humara present hai. Perfect nahi, par honest. Aur iss sab ke beech bhi, tum mere liye still “home” ho.

Future

tap to flip
tulips, passports & peace Future card mein main humein dekh raha hoon – kabhi Japan ki streets mein gumte hue, kabhi kisi tulip field mein baith ke bas baatein karte hue. No rush, no fear, sirf yeh surety ke jo bhi aayega, “we’ll handle it together”. Yeh card sirf hope nahi, ek promise bhi hai.
flip all three cards – phir neeche waapas stars aur timeline tak scroll kar ke dekho, sab kitna connected lagta hai ✨

my saheba

the centre of my little universe

each star here tells something true about you
tap the little stars around you — each one is a secret I love about you ✨
click any star… each one tells something true about you, for me.

scrolling will get us to the sky & the stars constellation

Your birthday

30 November

Aaj ka din sirf tumhaara hai. Today is the day I pour everything out – how you turned random days into memories, awkward moments into comfort, and my overthinking into peace. I love the way you laugh, the way you get jealous, the way you still choose me even when I’m difficult. Long distance ho, fights ho, doubts ho – phir bhi at the end of the day, it’s always me & you. I don’t just love you as my girlfriend, I love you as my safe place, my favorite person, my home. Happy birthday, Madam Ji. Thank you for staying, for trying, and for being mine. 💗

Third date

11 June · Wednesday

Humne decide kiya tha same colour outfit – I wore a black shirt and you wore that black top. You were looking insanely gorgeous, like “how is this real” level. That day I brought all those earrings and my diary for you, and phir main hi apni diary shop mein bhool aaya 💀. I literally ran back, pure panic mode, and we both thought that uncle would read everything. But somehow he was a good guy, quietly gave it back, jaise usko bhi pata tha yeh diary kitni important hai. Us din maine tumhe uthaya bhi tha, and tum itni khush hui thi… sach bolu toh mann tha ki tumhe kabhi neeche na utaaru. 💗

Second date

3 June · Tuesday

Tumne green suit pehna tha and it was so gorgeous. Main itna stupid tha ki jo earrings main tumhare liye laya tha, woh hi bhool aaya 😭. But uss din humne bohot baat ki, bohot hassi, bohot masti – awkwardness almost zero, comfort full. Tumne mujhe apna bracelet aur scrunchie diya, and I still have them, still keep them safe, and I genuinely love having that little piece of you with me.💗

First date

5 November · Tuesday

Tumne sky blue top pehna tha, maine grey shirt. It was honestly a very awkward day – I was busy fighting with my sister, you came with your mom and your sister, aur tum thodi jealous si ho rahi thi ki main apni sister se zyada baat kar raha hoon tumse kam 😭. Love-shove se zyada us din confusion, shyness aur awkward vibes thi, but still, that day mattered. It was the start, even if it didn’t feel like a filmy romantic scene.

The “joke” that wasn’t a joke

29 May 2024

Shuru mein toh yeh sab sirf mazaak lag raha tha – main bhi soch raha tha ki bas thoda tease karu, thoda fun ho. But kisiko kya pata tha ki woh joke itna serious ho jayega. Aaj iss point pe aake lagta hai, I honestly can’t live without you, and tum bhi mere bina normal feel nahi karti. Us waqt woh words bolte hue main actually nervous tha, haath thoda kaamp raha tha, dimag mein chal raha tha, “oh my god, she’s a fire trap.” But woh trap nikla love trap, and I’m so glad I walked straight into it.

The first time I saw you

3 years ago · School van

Tum bohot hi shy girl thi – kisi se zyada baat nahi, quietly baithi hui, bilkul calm. Main bas dekh raha tha, tum itni cute lag rahi thi, bina kuch bole bhi. Woh first ride in the van going to school… ussi mein kahin na kahin yeh sab shuru ho gaya tha, bina humein pata chale.

from the first school van ride, to awkward first dates, to that “joke” proposal, to real dates, to your birthday, the stars, the cards, the promises, and finally the tulips…
every scroll up is just proof that I kept falling a little more for you. 🌌